Friday, May 26, 2017

Toastmasters Speeches Idea - Speech 10 - The Power of "L"

My 10th speech from the Competent Communicator Manual. The objective of this speech is to inspire the audience. My topic is "The Power of "L"".

Scope of Speech 10: Inspire Your Audience

Speech Objectives (from CC manual): (1)To inspire the audience by appealing to noble motives and challenging the audience to achieve a higher level of beliefs or achievement. (2) Appeal to the audience’s needs and emotions, using stories, anecdotes and quotes to add drama. (3)Avoid using notes.
TIME: 8 - 10 mins.

This the last of first ten speeches, this project challenges the speaker to draw all their skills together to deliver a powerful inspirational message.


The Power of “L”

Toastmaster of the day, fellow toastmasters, guests, ladies and gentlemen

I hate my boss who always ask his staff to work more. I hate the meeting room because I usually spend more than 2-3 hours a day in the room. 

 

Do you ever have an experience like this? You went to the meeting with some key points, after the end of 2 or 3 hours, nothing, everybody talk and talk but there were not any solutions. The concluding of meeting was there will be an another meeting next week.


I hate everyday that I help my son do his homework. He usually cries. He was unhappy about a lot of homework. But for me I think, he was not concentrate with his homework. We usually fight each other during that time.


I felt, my son did not listen to me? Or did not understand what I said.

I really hate that!! and I don’t understand what happens to the people around me, my boss and my son. Why we talk but did not understand each other?

Whats wrong with me and my son? Me and my boss? Who has the problem?!!! Are they bad people? Who is wrong? I don’t know.

We talk, we try to communicate. But ... I think it is a total failure. Every time! Why?

Last years, I had an opportunity to join a workshop title "The Art of Listening". Believe it or not, Listening is more difficult than speaking.


Statistic form University of California said, human speak 3-6 hours per day or we use 25-40 percent of our day time for speak. Almost of them are unnecessary topics such as chitchat or complaint.

The way that human talk like an iceberg. We said only the top of the iceberg, but There are still a lot of stories behind words...the message under the ice.


This workshop taught me how to listen to other side carefully. Just listen quietly, do not judge nor have any argument to anything I’ve heard.


It was not easy. It thought it was normal to me not to listen. But after the first day, I heard something that I never heard before. Ive heard the feeling of people that I talk with.

I found myself making a lot of mistakes about not listening . I heard what my boss said but I did not really understand him. I heard my son cried and compliant his school but I did not really understand his real problem that I could help solved.

Communication gaps, argumentations and bigger problems happened because I did not really listen. Not to my son, not to my boss and not to my friends.

After this 3 days workshop, I experimented what I had learned.

One evening, my son complained about his teacher. Normally, I would have to say back to him that, may be he did not do something good at school.

But this time I just stopped doing that. I sat in front of him, listened to what he said without argument. I listened carefully, did not deny, just sat there with him.

It started slowly and he took more than 15 minutes of talk and I let him explained , he told me many things about his school, his friends and so on. All those that he never told me before.

and I just listened to him. I saw my son’s face, I saw his emotion, real emotion that I havent seen before.

After that, he cried and cried.

I found that, during his talk, there was something hidden in it.

He was upset, he was uneasy. He wanted to become a good student and a good son. But sometimes it was hard for him.

He was not angry at the teacher scolding him. He did not hate doing his homework. He just needed someone to hear his feelings.

Ending of that talk, my son took a deep breath and smiled at me, concluding that he was relieved. He felt comfortable. He promised to study harder so the teacher wont scold him anymore.

Finally, the solutions came from him, not from me.


I think, he was happy about our conversation that night. Because someone had listen to him when he needed me most. And now a day, he always come to me and tell me about his really emotions, both good and bad emotions. He is confident that I will listen to him because I care.

With my boss at work, I tried to apply similar way. Mostly in our conversation, I first listen to him carefully. Problems always exist but at least it helps me understand him more. I think, he knows and feels that I really care his words and ideas.

Sometimes when he is asking me to do something, he is first asking about my opinion first and also he tries to listen to me carefully.

Toastmaster of the day, fellow toastmasters, guests, ladies and gentlemen

Nowadays, we think we are listening to others, but we never feel or understand them. It makes listening ineffective.

If we listen carefully. I am sure that, we will discover the hidden meanings in their words. 

 

It is not easy, but it is worth doing. Let's practice to listening for being a better communication skill.

Zeno of Citium Greek philosopher said “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.” 




[**Zeno was the founder of the Stoic school of philosophy, which he taught in Athens]

Photo sources: Freepik.com 



Saturday, November 26, 2016

Dressed for Death



On 13th October 2016, Thai people lost the greatest king. His death throws the country into sadness. One thing that we do to show our respect is by wearing black clothes. And I had some questions, why people wear black clothes, what was its original purpose? Who was the first person who introduces this activity? Are they similar from other cultures?



I did some research about that, in many websites said , the tradition of black mourning clothing can be traced back to the Roman Empire. The family of the deceased would wear a dark-colored cloth, called a toga pulla. This tradition was adopted from England, which women were expected to wear black caps and veils when their husbands passed away.




Anyway, mourning dress was limited to people of the high ranking in the society. At that time, people wore white or natural colors. Black clothes are more expensive than white because there are a lot of processes in making black clothes.

By the mid 19th century, wearing black color to respect the dead person was spread to all level of society. There are two main reasons, 


First; there was a woman who was a fashion icon named Queen Victoria. She had a huge influence on fashions at that time. After the death of her husband, Prince Albert in 1861, Queen Victoria wore black clothing until her own death.

During those times, the manufacturing technology was better than the previous time. Factories created a large market for mourning dress. There were many styles for the different mourning periods.

 In 19th century, a widow woman in England wore mourning dress for 2 and a half years. A woman in full mourning wore a veil to cover her face when she left the house. She could not join entertaining events during that time. After a year of mourning, the widow added small and simple jewelry. Later, on the last half year, the widow added some colors. gray, dark shades of purple and violet were suitable for those times. 



Anyway, black is not the only color associated with mourning. In ancient Egypt, yellow was the color of mourning. Egyptians saw the sun and gold were yellow in color. Masks of mummies and tombs were often painted gold. This was good way to send the deceased into the afterlife. Mexico and Ethiopia’s color of mourning is yellow as well.



In Thailand nowadays, People usually wear black or white clothes for funeral ceremony. But in early Rattanakosin era, or around last 150 years ago, clothing was differentiated by your relationship with dead person.

  • White : for who are younger than dead person
  • Black : for who are older than dead person
  • Dark violet Pants or skirts and white shirt: for who are not related to the family
  • Black Pants or skirts and white shirts: for the very close friends.


 Color is only one way we show respect for the dead person. There are differences by times, cultures or religion. But for me, the clothes and accessories you wear are not the most important things. Choosing your funeral clothes should be simple. That's enough. The most important thing is that you can show your respect for someone by following they way they thinking or teaching. Just be a good person!
 

Source:

pictures from : freepik.com